Slow Day Ramblings

Well, it's another slow day here at the office. It is VERY quiet as "the priest" is on vacation. When people know he's gone they don't call or stop by as much, plus there is no noon Mass so it is very peaceful here. I've a lot time (too much) to think about this whole TTC process and the possibility of being labeled IF. It's almost time for me to O again, I'm on CD 12 and the signs are starting to show their faces. In the past DH and I started BDing early (cd 10-12) but I've kind of held him off for now. I don't know why. I guess I don't really think it makes any difference at this point. If I look back at all my charts we've tried lots of different timing around O and couple of time even BDed on O day. It's not that I've given up or don't have hope for this cycle I just don't really have any enthusiasm for it. I'm tired of all the timing and charting. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't have started with charting. I just would have ditched the BC and waited to see what happened. Then, if nothing happened I would have started charting and timing. I guess in my mind since we didn't conceive and we were charting for a year now I think (know?) something is wrong with one or both of us. It's too hard to reverse the process and just give up the charting, I think I'll always know where I am at in my cycle now. We haven't talked about the "what if's". If we don't conceive this cycle AF is due to show her face while I am on our mission trip (perfect right?). So by the time I get back it will be a little late to see a doctor and get BW done for CD 3...right? DH talked to his friend who is an OBGYN and he said it takes 18 months to 2 years to conceive. I find this hard to believe. I mean most people say 1 year right? Also, I find it hard to believe DH actually talks about this stuff to his buddies. I know that this seems kind of like a downer post but I'm really not to sad about it...I've come to accept that this is just how it is for now and I can't do anything about it at the moment. If we don't conceive this cycle I think we'll just try again in August and maybe then look into seeing a doctor. However once fall hits DH is a hunting maniac and my work gets crazy too. Actually if we DID conceive this month it would time out perfect. We don't have anything major going on during what would be the first trimester so we wouldn't have to tell people early. Just some random thoughts on this quiet Tuesday!