Weighty Ramble

As you can see from my ticker I lost 0.6lbs this week...which is good...right? I'm actually getting a little frustrated. As you can tell from my posts I've been very committed to exercise and eating "clean" these past few weeks. I've also done a good job journaling what I've eaten. Yet, the weight is coming off so slowly it's hard to stay motivated. I asked the receptionist at Weight Watchers this morning (she's also a good friend) if they ever recommend that folks who exercise a lot eat all of the activity points they earn. She said they don't recommend anything one way or another just leave it as an option. One WW food point equals approx. 50 calories and one WW activity point equals approx. 100 calories burned. I've been eating about half of my activity points for a few reasons. 1. After running for 50 minutes I'm HUNGARY 2. I didn't want to eat all of them for fear I over estimated my calories burned. But is the over calorie calculations are correct I should be okay eating all of them since I still have a deficit. I'm going to try and eat all my activity points this week but try and use them for healthy clean choices like nuts, other protein, low-fat dairy, fruit, etc. I'm going to use the weekly points allowance for "treats" like chocolate and wine. I'm also going to us SparkPeople to track actual calories in and out although after just one morning of using it I feel it's kind of a pain. I do want to lose weight but more importantly I wan to be healthy.
I "ONLY" have to work 10 hours today so when I get done with work I might hit up Old Navy. I bought some yoga stuff there and love it! I'm wearing the yoga pants at work right now because I'm headed to a noon class. With black boots and a nice shirt and vest they don't look half bad. I definitely want another pair.
Also, stay tuned for a post about the AMAZING speaker I heard last night, Greg Mortenson. We had to read his book Three Cups of Tea for grad school and it was truly inspiring. I ran home and immediately wrote a paper about the book (due for class). I just want to share this amazing man's story with you!

Ramblings

It's a lovely Fall morning here in the Midwest. I ran for 50 minutes this morning it was great! I didn't feel quiet as awesome as I did last Sunday but still, I couldn't ask for better conditions. It's about 58 degrees and sunny. I returned home for a green smoothie and got caught up on the blogs. Yesterday I was in class all day. It was great! My grad school courses really inspire and keep me focused on what is really important in my calling. Some how thought it gets me thinking about my dysfunctional situation at my job, I sometimes feel trapped and don't feel like I can be the type of servant leader that I am called to be. I know that I have to accept where I am for what it is and be the best leader I can be in that situation. Yet, I feel called to more. I'm not sure what that more is. I know that God will lead me or keep me where I am suppose to be. Speaking of work I need to head there soon so I better shower and clean up the kitchen a bit. My husband has been so awesome in taking care of the dog, doing the dishes, and making dinner while I've been so busy with my stuff. He's a good guy! I'm so blessed! Have a good Sunday!

Goals

Well, I gained this week. Only 0.2lbs but still a little bit of a bummer. Today at my Weight Watcher meeting we talked about setting goals as far as weight loss goes. I've reached my "goal weight" twice in my life. The last time I did this was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 2003 (wow! 6 years ago). Actually this was the day I got back into range (2lbs above my goal weight). I can distinctly remember how awesome that felt. I had just gone to the mall and bought pants in a size 8! Then the day before Christmas I actually got to my goal (I think). This made healthy eating during the holidays so much easier. I was so close to goal and I wanted to reach it and keep it and never let it go. Well here I am six years later and 15lbs heavier. The eve of Thanksgiving is actually 9 weeks away and the day before Christmas Eve is 13 weeks away. I could do this again. I want to feel that successful feeling I want that pride and confidence. I will reach it. I twill get in touch with those good feelings I had 6 years ago every time I am faced with a challenging eating situation. I will remember how I felt that day stepping on the scale seeing those numbers and knowing I had achieved my ultimate goal and I'll ask myself, "Do you really want to eat that?" Or when I'm tempted to turn off the alarm and roll back over in bed I'll think about those jeans that I eventually shrunk out of. I want more than to just feel comfortable in my clothes I want them to get lose and baggy. And they will! I will do this!

Thanks for listening to me rant. Sometimes I just need to get it out there for accountability. Check out this awesome give away on Heather's blog http://heatherbakes.com/2009/09/22/amazing-grass-giveaway/ I have actually tried Amazing Grass and really like it. I especially like it in my Green Smoothies after a long run or weight lifting.

I'm headed to Yoga in an hour or so then a lovely staff meeting! Have a good hump day. Is it just me or does Wednesday really feel like a big hump to get over in the middle of the week? Thursdays just seem so much better!

The right place at the right time

Well, it's the first day of fall and I awoke to dark skies and the sound of rain falling on our roof, the perfect day to roll over and stay in bed...and that's just what I did. Yep, that's right, I did not get up and go on my intended 5 mile run. Actually I mapped my run from the other day and it was almost 6 miles! Now, wouldn't you think the scale would be my friend after that kind of run? Not so much. It's down a little bit from yesterday but not those nice 160 numbers I saw last week. I'm really okay with not running this morning. I'm a little sore from weight lifting yesterday and it has been pouring out. I hope the rain stops after work so I can take the pup for an nice long walk. I need to get away from being obsessed with the number on the scale. To be fair I'm wearing a pair of pants that a few weeks ago I was able to put on but thought, "No way! I will not be comfortable in these." Anywhoo! Not much new here. I think work is finally settling into a nice rhythm instead of craziness! Brian shot a deer (bow hunting) on Sunday so last night I hung out with my mother-in-law watching Say Yes to the Dress and Dancing with the Stars, while my husband and Father-in-law processed the deer. You should have seen Brian as we left their house with a huge bag of meat, he was so proud to be filling our freezer!

I had an awesome insight yesterday while talking with my spiritual director. I was sharing with her how glad I was to have attended the university I did at the time I did because of the great teachers and priest who are now gone. She said, "You've always been in the right place at the right time." This really hit home to me. I thought about all the wonderful experiences I've had growing up in an awesome parish as a child, attending the catholic high school in town when it was at its best, working at another parish with two awesome priests who are now gone, and so forth and so on. All of those places I attenuated or worked have changed but I got to be a part of them at a great time in their history. It didn't necessarily seem like I was in the right place at the right time, at the time but looking back I know it to be true. And so, I know that where I am right now today is the right place at the right time.

In TTC news...I've done pretty well not obesssing over this cycle but it's kind of hard to ignore the signs like lots of CM and little pains in my side and think myself I guess it's about "that time" Oh well, I'm not putting the pressure on us to BD so I guess that's good! I know God will give us a child at the right time.

So much to say

First of all let me report that my parents got home safe and sound. I did get a voicemail from my mom yesterday saying my dad had a bad infection in his leg. I should probably call them an see how he is soon.
My night out with my girlfriend was awesome. We drank WAY too much wine and enjoyed some delicious food, especially the chocolate dessert. I woke up Saturday morning feeling pretty crappy. I realized we really didn't eat that much. We split a appetizer plate and had our own dessert but that was it. I weighed myself and I was WAY down...so I was happy about that. I'm sure I was pretty dehydrated. I fully intended on going to Zumba at 10:30am. After eating and of course having a green smoothies I felt loads better BUT I realized Zumba was at 9:30 and I missed it! So, I didn't exercise Saturday. Very rare for me. It was okay. I did some produce shopping and got some new yarn and knitting patterns for some projects and hung out with my hubby. I had to go into work for a little bit but then we headed out to a wedding reception. We weren't invited because the guy getting married is almost 50 and this is his first marriage so the guest list was HUGE. He had to cut someone! So we just showed up for the dance and had a blast! I drank lots of champagne too!
Brian didn't think I'd be able to get up an run Sunday morning but I did and it rocked! I did 5 miles on a new route. I felt really great. Unfortunately the scale was way up Sunday morning and is still up today despite eating clean yesterday and the long run. I plan on eating well today and have to teach Group Strength too. It's my day off but I've got lots of cleaning to do!

Go'n Good!

Hello! Happy Friday! Yes! We finally made it to Friday! Too bad I have to work both Sat. and Sun.! Oh well! I'll enjoy the fun times when I can. I started out having a great. I let myself sleep in until 6:00am (wow I know!) and decided to run with the dog so I wouldn't have to walk her later. I enjoyed a nice green smoothie too! When I got to work I noticed a call on my cell phone from my mom. Last night she and my dad were leaving Hawaii to come home. I guess it was late afternoon there and evening here. So when she called this morning they were in Houston getting ready to fly back to the Midwest. I called her back and she said my dad was really sick with flu like symptoms. With all this H1N1 business going on that's kind of scary. Not to mention my dad is in pretty poor health anyway. He has extreme heart problems and is over weight. They kept calling and telling me all the activity they were doing in Hawaii and I found it hard to believe, he's so bad he can barely walk a few feet with out stopping to catch his breath. My mom seemed really upset so I'm pretty sure something else is going on. She's also really tired as it's 2am her time. So I'm a little worried about them and hope they get home okay. They are scheduled to land in Minneapolis is about an hour (I'm tracking their flight). Other than that my work day has been a blast! I went shopping and prepared bread with a student for a brunch we're hosting on Sunday. Now I'm just surfing the net and later I get to do Nia. I'm part of focus group who is trying to decide if this is something we want to offer at our church. I can't wait to go out with my girlfriend tonight but I'm a little bummed because some other friends are stopping in town on their way to Milwaukee and I might not get to see them. I hope tomorrow to have some time to myself and so the stuff I want to do before heading to church. Have good Friday everyone!

Success!

Whew! This week is kicking my butt! Is it Friday yet?? I feel really proud of myself! I stuck to my plan last night. I only ate 1 piece of lasagna and lots of salad with light dressing. I passed on the garlic bread and the home made brownies. I drank lots of water. At Youth Ministry the kid who was suppose to bring a snack forgot so I ran out and got some apples and cookies. I was feeling a little hungry, had planed (even wrote it down!) to eat an apple earlier but didn't so I had one. Then I came home (still hungry) and had a peach with cool whip and a touch of chocolate sauce on top. I counted all my points and felt really good about what I ate. My reward...168.8 on the scale this morning! (yes I do scale hop usually once a day in morning). Challenge 1 done! Winner Kristin! Okay so I'm just a little too excited about this! In a bit I'm headed to the soup kitchen to share a meal with the folks there. I'm sticking to my same plan!
I was kind of feel crabby and yucky about work this morning but I don't really want to rehash it as I'm feeling better now! I'm super excited to go out with my friend tomorrow. We decided to go to this place and eat in the tavern. It's pretty much the most expensive place in town but the tavern is pretty reasonable. I can't wait! Saturday I get to sleep in! I was thinking about setting an alarm and signing up for a class at the Y but then I thought, no! I'm just going to wake up when I go and see what time it is and then decide what my work out is. Today I went to group strength and I'm already feeling the ab work we did. Tomorrow I have a 40minute run planned.
The other day when I went shopping I bought these and these from Old Navy. They were even cheaper in the store and I LOVE them! Go check them out if you get a chance! Once I get into that good healthy phase I stay there...I hope!

Chipping away

Well, I weighed in this morning only down 0.4lbs. At least I'm down. I thought perhaps that part of the reason I wasn't down more last week was AF bloat, guess not. I think alcohol plays a huge role in weight loss. Even though I can fit wine and beer into my eating plan I think it messes with the metabolism. I just find it easier to lose weight doing the 2WW when I'm not drinking. This week is poses with food challenges. I'm going to lay out right here and now of accountability.
Today (Wednesday) Student Supper:
I have already eaten pretty healthy for today. I work 12 hours on Wed. so the only exercise I got this morning was a 30 minute walk and 50 minutes of yoga at lunch. This is some what good because I'm not starving. So here is my plan: LOOK FOR and STICK WITH CLEAN FOODS. I know enough about clean eating to know what is good for me. If there is bread I'm just going to have to stay away. Usually someone brings delicious desserts. I know that for tonight I'm just going to have to stay away. Those are "red light" foods for me that trigger more over eating. I just can't fit them in today. I'm going to fill up on veggies and fruit (if there is any) and take a small portion of the main course.

Thursday: Dinner at soup kitchen, meeting up with friends for drinks (?) and more food
My plan for eating dinner at the kitchen is the same as before. It's just a meal, not a special occasion I just need to nourish my body, not celebrate with food. The second part is a little tricky. Our friend is serving Alaskan Halibut...very hard to get unless you go toe Alaska. I thought he was deep frying it in which case I would not eat it but I think my hubby is going to prepare it the way he always does. I think I'll have one drink (probably light beer) and a taste of fish. I know the mom of the house will have dessert....again I think I'll have to say no. Social situations are the hardest for me! I feel like I have to drink or the family will think I'm pregnant (sigh).

Friday: meeting a girl friend for drinks and dinner. This is MY FUN NIGHT! I'm going to use most of my calories for this night. I just want to enjoy. Not to mention I'll go on a long run in the morning

Sat.: Wedding reception. Fortunately we are just going to the dance so I can eat healthy at home and only have one drink at the party.

That about sums it up. I just have to remind myself that these are meals to nourish my body. How do I want to take care of myself? I just wish it didn't taste so darn good!

Day Off!

Well, after a crazy busy weekend I had my first day off in two weeks! And what did I do? I deep cleaned my house! The house hasn't been properly clean in a long time and had not been seriously cleaned in FOREVER! I moved furniture, got out the pledge (instead of just the swifter) and got down on my hands an knees to scrub the base of the toilet! I also did a TON of laundry! Phew! Don't worry I had some fun too! I headed to the mall this afternoon and got some cute yoga clothes on clearance at Old Navy. I also got some cute tops at J.C. Penny's and some clothes for Brian too. Almost everything was on clearance and nothing cost more then $10. Except for the $30 coffee pot that was originally $50. I also enjoyed a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. Everyone has been raving about them in the blog sphere. I got mine iced since it was 80 degrees here today. That was a huge mistake! I think you get hosed on the amount of coffee you get because of the ice. I had mine gone in a couple of sips! I hope it cools down and I can get a hot one soon....they are a little pricey but I deserved a treat! Don't worry I got decaf. I haven't had any (or very small amounts) of caffeine for almost a month! Can't say the same about alcohol. Once AF showed up all bets were off! I've been enjoying the wine we bought from Door County quiet regularly! This week should be a little less busy then last. I hope to spend time with a good friend Friday night. I sent an email to all my girlfriends last week about our TTC journey. I asked them to please not ask us any more...it's just gotten too hard (annoying!) One of my friends responded that she would love to get together and talk about anything...not necessarily babies. She lost two babies in the last year. I admitted to her that I skipped the last "girls night" because I just couldn't handle hearing about babies and kids. She said she guessed that's why I wasn't there. I hope it works out that we can get together for dinner or a glass of wine. I guess that's all for now!

Many things to ramble

I went on a nice long run today, same route as I pictured but this time it was not foggy! Actually it was warmer than it has been. In August I was wearing cropped pants and a wind breaker today shorts and a T-Shirt!
So the day started out good but then I got to work and became crabby! I have the very best intentions of being the best employee I can be, by working on my communications skills even though my "boss" is about as communicative as a door knob. Last week "the priest" (the head boss) told me I should talk to my other boss at least twice a week to check in with him and ask him if there is anything I need to do to prepare for the students coming back. I obliged even though this is some what challenging as I do not feel comfortable around him. I went to chat with him and reminded him that I would not be available Friday night (tonight) to help prepare care packages as I had grad school. I asked if he needed help setting up for the care package preparation. He said that would be fine. Then I confirmed that this needed to be done by Friday Night. I put this in my "to do" list. I had a TON of other stuff to accomplish. I worked yesterday like a dog to finish all of these other "to do" things so I could take this morning to prepare the care package items. I got here bright an early in my "work clothes" (shorts and tennies) when down to out basement and the set up was all complete! He had done all of it already! Why? I don't know! I did go to talk to him and he just said he took care of it when he had time. See here lies the problem he had NOTHING to do because I DO IT ALL!!! When I went to talk to him he was playing solitaire!
Thanks for listening to me rant!

One note of remembrance for today. Many people recall this day as the day the Twin Towers were attacked 8 years ago. I remember 13 years ago being a junior in high school and hearing my name being called over the loud speaker to come to the office after school. This was unusual for me as I was the model (PERFECT) student. I walked into the conference room where my computer teacher was. All she said was, "Kristin, she's gone." My best friend who had suffered with cancer since we were in 8th grade was finally at peace. I remember feeling like the room was spinning as the news sunk in and my teacher wrapped her arms around me as a cried. I still miss her even today and wonder if we would have stayed friends. I like to think we would have.

Of course on September 11th 2002 I remember I was in college in my Ed. Media class. The classroom where we met was also the office were teachers would check out televisions and other audio visual equipment. The woman in charge of checking this stuff out had a tv on her desk and was always watching something. I caught her once with the QVC website on her computer and the show on her tv. I remember being in class and this woman (not the teacher) turned her tv up and I thought that it was rather rude. Once the class ended they made the announcement. I looked at my cell phone (it was my first cell phone!) and saw my dad had called from home about 10 times with the news. I also remember that when I went to work that day (I worked taking orders for a catalogue) that the phones were dead. Later that week I was helping someone with and order from New Jersey and she said, "I have to go! My friend's son was in one of the towers and they think they might have found him at last!"

Crazy! Hope you're having a good day. I'm hoping mine will get better when I go to my first grad school class of the semester tonight from 5:30-10!

CD # ??

So the house guest from hell is here. No seriously I'm not really that ticked. I weighted in this morning and was down 0.2lbs which is better than nothing. I'm going to stick with it so I can see a bigger loss next week! I did send an email to all my friends telling them about our IF. Many of then don't have kids, have never tried to have kids, and some I don't think every will. I asked them to please stop asking us if we're pregnant or when we don't answer our phone say on voicemail..."You must be trying to make a baby!" SO ANNOYING (actually only one friend did this)! I did have lovely lunch with a friend yesterday. She told me another one of our friends is planning on losing 10lbs and then trying for baby #3!! So I'm not charting any more. I'm debating if I want to continue to ready TTC and baby blogs. I just kind of don't want to think about it any more....it might be a hard addiction to give up though. We'll see. If nature doesn't take it's course by January then we will see a doctor. So I guess I have 3 1/2 months to get down to a healthy weight...I don't want them to say, "You're not pregnant cuz your fat!" That would be awful! Today's a busy day with Youth Ministry and all...I'm about to head to Yoga for my lunch break. I guess for the next couple months this blog will be more of a healthy lifestyle blog with some faith too! Hope you keep reading!!

Whew! I can breathe again!

Wow! It was a very busy weekend. The university students moved in on Sat. and I had tons of programs and such that I planned and needed to be at. When all is said an done I worked about 18 hours Sat.-Mon., made 10 gallons of kool-aide (all gone) and ordered 20 pizzas plus made 6 frozen ones (also all gone) and met lots of new students. I'm glad it's over. We have one more intense weekend (next weekend) and then we can settle into the routine of the year...hopfully. So I didn't have a "weekend" which kind of stinks but then I remembered that I was going to lunch with a good friend today. I just got back from that. She works at my alma mater a place that I hope some day I can work too. Right now though, it doesn't sound like a very stable place to work. She had a lot of woes to share. It made me feel better because I always pictured that place as an ideal place to work and now I can see that just like my work it has its challenges too.
In TTC news my temp was lower than I expected yesterday since I woke up an hour and half later than normal and today it was below the coverline. I have felt crampy all day so I think AF is announcing her arrival. I am kind of bummed of course about now being pregnant...again, and because even though I had a really good week of eating and exercise I'll probably show that lovely AF bloat weight gain when I weigh in tomorrow...bummer! If I stay on track though maybe I'll show a nice big loss the following week. I guess this gives me four more weeks of working on weight loss. That is always tough once school starts. Every week I go to a soup kitchen where we are asked to share a meal with the guests, then about every other week we have a meal for our students, not to mention all the other opportunities to eat! It is my goal this year to conquer these challenges head on...I don't have a plan for..yet. I do have a plan for TTC. We are not going to try for awhile. No more charting or temping or obsessing. I'm going to continue not to drink coffee and cut WAY back on drinking even before the TWW. More fruits veggies and exercising and no more BD!!!! Just plain old fashion good time sex! Hope it works!

Sad morning happy afternoon and evening!

This morning I got up before the sun and went for a run. I had to do this early because I needed to get to a funeral by 8:30am. The priest at my Alma mater died. The actual funeral didn't start until 10am but the doors were opening at 9am and I wanted to make sure to get a seat. Almost two years ago a beloved professor died and the minute the doors to the church were open it was packed and the students weren't even in class at the time! As I sat in the chapel that was so familiar to me and held such memories of who I was in college and how my faith and my life was shaped there I though about all the wonderful people God has called home that have affected my life. The professor, this priest, and others. One of my other former professors (I guess current as he'll be teaching my grad class next week) Said to me, "This is the end of an era. There aren't many progressive people life Father Tom left." I thought about my current boss (the priest) and about how he told us he would be leaving our parish within the next few years. Even though he drives me crazy I still like him. He's a good man, a "progressive" if you will. What will happen when he leaves? If you don't know much about the Catholic Church there seems to be a division between (for lack of better words) liberals and conservatives or progressive and traditionalists. I happen to be on the progressive side. Am I to carry this torch? To be a light to other progressive Catholics? But what if that's not what the people want? There are less an less of these progressive people out there. I would never want to give up my faith but I can't go back to the old days. Nor do I think we should! The funeral was beautiful.
Another sad thing happened. I was chatting with a guy who works at the soup kitchen I volunteer at during the school year. You may recall me mentioning to young pregnant girls I befriended there, even though at times it caused me a bit of pain and sorrow. I asked about the girls and their babies. The one girl's baby is two and half months the other's was stillborn! How awful! Of the two she was the one who was the most excited about having a baby. She would share her stories from the doctor and her ultrasound pictures. She couldn't wait to bring him to see me so I could hold him (she knows how much I love babies). It really broke my heart. And I wasn't there to comfort her. More importantly I have made a connection with this poor soul. I look forward to going back there and hearing the whole story.
My day ended happily with several visits from students, a surprise gift from a parishioner, and now an evening at home alone! I have a busy weekend filled with WORK! I hope to post when all the dust settles!

A beautiful (foggy) morning run!

Here are the pictures I promised from my run last week. This is one of my favorite routes that takes me from my home, through our downtown, along the river, through the woods, and much more! It's roughly 5miles! Hope you enjoy!



The view from my back door as I head out for my warm up!

Me! Almost done with my 5 minute warm up!

Lucky me! I get to run right by my work!

Heading into downtown. You can just barely make out the Cathedral

A view of the historic downtown

The Might Mississippi looking south

The La Crosse River. Is it getting sunny out??

Wooded portion of the trail

Foggy marsh trail

Me! Still smiling after 5 miles!

Me! Post run and shower enjoying a green smoothie!

And I'm going to do it all again tomorrow!!

Fly By!

Hi there! Just wanted to post that I lost 1.2lbs this week! Yay! My camping choices weren't as good as I planned but I did get right back on track after we got back! I'm definitely motivated now! I am also in the dreaded 2WW but I'm so busy with work right now I think it will go fast! This could have helped with the weight loss as I swore off alcohol since ovulation and also have totally cut the caffeine addiction! I promise to post those running pics soon...just so busy and the free time I do have in the evening I want to spend with the hubby!