Thinking about IF again

I wasn't going to post today because I was kind of in a bummer of a mood. First of all Aunt Flo showed up this morning. I knew she was coming yesterday so it wasn't a big surprise. I really had to PMS symptoms so I was still really hopeful that I could give the husband an AWESOME birthday present. When you've been trying for over a year it is so hard to not think about it. I'm finding it hard to not think about the what if's. What if we're not pregnant by the end of this year? What will the tests tell us? Where will we go from there? What if we are doing something wrong? Oh well. I guess I get to enjoy some read wine for awhile again...I've really been craving it.
Also, a girl at the Y who teaches Zumba is leaving. I was hoping to pick up her classes for the extra cash but got and email this morning that this other girl Lindsay took them. This Lindsay girl seemed to appear out of no where. I've never seen her at a staff meeting, I'm pretty sure she's not on the schedule but in the last two days she subbed two classes that I could have taken. Her GST class this morning was really good (really hard) but the Zumba class she subbed on Monday wasn't that good so this kind of bums me out. I did get another email from our boss that said she would get me on the Zumba schedule for winter/spring so that is good.
This crabby mood started yesterday. I was at church/work and this younger guy Dave was greeting. Dave just happened to interview for my job when I did. My one boss (K) has told me that when he came to interview he acted like he already had the job. She thinks my other boss (J) pretty much told him he had the job but the committee picked me. What bothers me is the way J treats Dave, like he's his best buddy. I wonder what life at my church would have been like if Dave would have gotten the position. I know he would have driven K nuts. I'm not saying that I don't think I'm qualified for the job or that Dave would have been better but it just irritated me.
Don't worry I'm not a total Debbie Downer today. I got my house clean and cup cakes made for my husband's birthday. Going to eat some lunch and chill for the rest of the afternoon!