Contemplating

After my last post I did go home and then got out for an AWESOME 45 minute run in the beautiful sunshine. Good thing too as yesterday was cold and gloomy, today is sunny but still cold and I won't have time to run after work. I did hit up the "Revolving Apparatus of Death" (R.A.D. aka the tread mill, this was stolen from th Fitnessista by the way).
So, I've been thinking a lot about my job. This is my 4th year here at the church and each year has been a challenge in and of itself. Every year does get a little bit better yet I still am left with a feeling that I meant to do more. I'm not really sure where this is coming from. It could be because I've been reading about Angela's amazing story on how she left her job and fulfilled her dreams. Check out her blog and her story if you haven't. One thing that I see as different in my story is that I feel like I am meant to work in some way serving God by spreading his message to others. I have always felt this way. The grad school classes I'm taking also enforce in my heart that this is what I am called to be. Yet, I question if the church I am at or the specific work I am doing is HOW I am called to do this. We talk a lot about not letting your light hide under a basket and I feel like because of the situation I am in I am forced to hide my light. Any time I try something new or suggest something new I am not heard. The problem is I don't know where I am suppose to go or what else I am suppose to do. I also have an extreme interest in health and fitness but no formal schooling in this area. I can some what dabble in this through teaching fitness classes which I love. BUT my other job is so demanding that I can not do it as much as I want to. I also use to lead Weight Watcher meetings when and I loved that too. Just, not enough time now. One of my fears is money. I married a man for is character and personality not because he was rich or made promises of giving me an "easy" life. If I didn't work it would be tough. I just feel like I'm floundering right now. I am not fulfilled. And I don't know what to do about it. Part of me wonders if my desire to have a child is also a desire to do more or do something different or just change the situation I am in. I'm not sure if that is the right reason to want a baby. Ho hum! Sorry for such a serious post on a Friday! I'm actually having a great day just have been thinking about a lot of stuff. I have grad school tonight and all day tomorrow and I am totally pumped for it! We also got Ti-Vo (or DVR I guess) yesterday and it is rocking my world! How did I ever live without it! Thanks for hearing my thoughts!