Lot's to Ramble About

Hello! Happy Friday! I don't about you but where I am it may be cold (40 degrees) but the sun is shining and we haven't seen the sun for a few days now! I've had a pretty good couple of days. I had this idea that I wanted to try here with our University students but I was afraid to bring it up to my boss because every time I do I get shot down. So yesterday was our weekly meeting. I had decided that I was just going to lay it on the line and tell him my idea and be myself....what's the worst he could say...no. Well he said yes! It was actually one of the best meetings I've had with him in the three plus years I worked here.

I also posted my first Operation Beautiful note. Seriously, check out this site. Caitlin is even writing a book because of this site! I posted my note on the sign outside of a tanning salon that I pass every day going to and from work. It makes me so sad that all these girls and guys think they have to look a certain way and in doing so are harming their bodies.


Here is the full sign





















The sign with the note a little more visible





















Then the note close up!


















I submitted this for the book but honestly I don't care if they get in or not. I just really wanted to so it! I subbing cycling class tomorrow and thinking about making a note for every bike and getting their early to tape it to each one. If the class isn't full I'll just keep the notes on the bikes that weren't taken.

On a related note, I decided not to wear makeup for a week. After reading this post by Angela I thought, "I could try this! I don't really think I look that different without make-up anyway!" So I'm on day two of that! Let me tell you! I have way more time in the morning. I still get a little worried when I look in the mirror and see some acne but I don't look in the mirror that often! My skin actually feels better!

So, I've been reading a lot of blogs similar to Caitlin's and Angela's and I am also thinking about quitting Weight Watchers. I have been an on again off again WW member for 15 years! When I was at my "goal weight" I even led meetings! I do really like the WW program. I think it has changed a lot since I was 14. They are trying to encourage more members to eat more whole foods and to get the most nutrition and fulfillment from these foods. I'm just tired of all the obsessing with tracking and counting and weighing in every week. Just for an example, the hubbie and I went to Barnes and Noble last night. I got a small, decaf, non-fat, pumpkin spice latte. It was SOOOOOOO good! I really enjoyed it. I went home and looked up the nutritional info...6 points! Holy Crap! That's usually what I eat for breakfast! Then I felt bad! I wrote it down. I guess writing it down and counting the points to make me realize I didn't need a piece of chocolate after dinner but still, why couldn't I just enjoy it and move on. It's not like a drink one of these every day. I didn't feel like "wasted" points on this. No, I am not at my ideal weight but, I can run 6 miles not problem. I teach fitness classes 2-4 times per week. I eat a ton of veggies and fruits and have even dabbled in vegetarian and vegan cuisines. I'm just afraid to let go of the program. I'm afraid I won't be able to listen to my body and over indulge too much. Also, my mother-in-law has been going to WW with me for over a year. At first she was successful but now she doesn't really follow the program. I think she just goes because then she gets to spend time with me! I don't want her to lose the few healthy habits she did learn. It also cost money which I would like to start trying to save more of! I'm still going to think about it and talk to the husband about what he thinks, especially since it's his mom!

Well, I have plans with a students of mine to go sample some pumpkin beer at a local "pub" I'm pretty excited! I've had a pumpkin obsession lately! I've had pumpkin in my Green Monster every day for two weeks! Have a great weekend!

Yoga Healer of All Ills

Wow! Two posts in one day! I went to yoga at the YMCA over my lunch hour and I feel MUCH better! It's amazing what a little physical exercise and relaxation can do for you! I am planning on fitting in a run between my office hours and youth ministry tonight. I did this last week and whoa! I had tons of energy for those kiddos. Plus I don't get my usual morning cardio in since I got to Weight Watcher meetings in the morning. So, all seems right with the world....that is, until I chat with my coworker about the retreat situation....she just got a call from another mother! It will be fine! I'm all zen now!

Should be?

So, I should be working but I really need to write this out. I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now and they are not good ones. I'm pretty down today. Lot's going on including the fact that I haven't lost any weight in two weeks ( up 1lb in fact). But really me feeling down doesn't have anything to do with weight. It's my work...again. A lot of it stems from my previous post. My grad school class was great last weekend. Truly inspiring and energizing. At one point the professor, who also happens to be a long times personal friend of my family and has know me since I was a baby said to me, "I'm really glad you are in this program. I get the sense that at your work you don't get to use all your gifts and talents and during these classes you do." I was kind of shocked. First of all I was surprised that he knows what goes on around here (actually I'm not that surprised) but I was even more surprised that what he just said clearly articulated what I've been feeling. This is why I think I feel so frustrated here. I don't believe that I was meant to sit at a desk 90% of the time and interact with others 10% of the times. And really there isn't that much to do here at my desk yet I am expected to be here (hence the massive amount of time I spend reading blogs, twittering, and facebooking). Sometimes the work itself if just plain frustrating. We've tried to be very accommodating with our young people preparing for Confirmation. We've gone from offering one over night retreat, to two options of a full day retreat. The first one is coming up in November. The young people signed up in August/September. We sent out a reminder to the parents about the November retreat. One parent's daughter already has a conflict but if she switches there will only be three girls at the November retreat. We called the school and made arrangements for this young girl to leave our retreat 1 hours early and come to the school function 30minutes late. The mother is still raising holy hell over the whole thing. Not to mention the people I work with are kind of nuts. No one gets a long or works together very well. The woman I share an office with wouldn't let me put Halloween decorations up only "harvest". Plus this job doesn't allow me to do things I want to do like sing. I would love to be part of one of our local adult choirs but I don't always have a night free to attend rehearsal (i.e. sometimes I'm free Tuesday nights but not every Tuesday night). Or community theater. I would love to do this again but how can I when my nights are mostly booked. I'm so frustrated right now. I feel so trapped and I don't know how to get out.

Contemplating

After my last post I did go home and then got out for an AWESOME 45 minute run in the beautiful sunshine. Good thing too as yesterday was cold and gloomy, today is sunny but still cold and I won't have time to run after work. I did hit up the "Revolving Apparatus of Death" (R.A.D. aka the tread mill, this was stolen from th Fitnessista by the way).
So, I've been thinking a lot about my job. This is my 4th year here at the church and each year has been a challenge in and of itself. Every year does get a little bit better yet I still am left with a feeling that I meant to do more. I'm not really sure where this is coming from. It could be because I've been reading about Angela's amazing story on how she left her job and fulfilled her dreams. Check out her blog and her story if you haven't. One thing that I see as different in my story is that I feel like I am meant to work in some way serving God by spreading his message to others. I have always felt this way. The grad school classes I'm taking also enforce in my heart that this is what I am called to be. Yet, I question if the church I am at or the specific work I am doing is HOW I am called to do this. We talk a lot about not letting your light hide under a basket and I feel like because of the situation I am in I am forced to hide my light. Any time I try something new or suggest something new I am not heard. The problem is I don't know where I am suppose to go or what else I am suppose to do. I also have an extreme interest in health and fitness but no formal schooling in this area. I can some what dabble in this through teaching fitness classes which I love. BUT my other job is so demanding that I can not do it as much as I want to. I also use to lead Weight Watcher meetings when and I loved that too. Just, not enough time now. One of my fears is money. I married a man for is character and personality not because he was rich or made promises of giving me an "easy" life. If I didn't work it would be tough. I just feel like I'm floundering right now. I am not fulfilled. And I don't know what to do about it. Part of me wonders if my desire to have a child is also a desire to do more or do something different or just change the situation I am in. I'm not sure if that is the right reason to want a baby. Ho hum! Sorry for such a serious post on a Friday! I'm actually having a great day just have been thinking about a lot of stuff. I have grad school tonight and all day tomorrow and I am totally pumped for it! We also got Ti-Vo (or DVR I guess) yesterday and it is rocking my world! How did I ever live without it! Thanks for hearing my thoughts!

Start Again

AF came this morning...right on time. I have mixed feelings about this. I know we said we were just going to let it go and not chart or "try" and we did just that but it's hard to not think about it. It's like the elephant in the room. The plan is to "not try" for the fall so I guess two more months, then chart again and see an OB in January when I would normally get a check up. I guess we'll still stick with that plan but I can't help thinking here's one more cycle that didn't work. Something is wrong with us! I just know it! We should just get it over with and find out what it is!
I also gained 1.2lbs this week, not surprised with my lack of exercise and lack of tracking. I'm back on track though. I went to yoga at lunch time and might even squeeze in a run between finishing my office hours coming back for youth ministry. It is so beautiful out. Sunny and bright! It's been pretty gloomy the past few days and we just won't get too many more great days like this. It would be a shame to waste it.

Off my game

Well, things did not go as planned. I skipped my run on Sunday because I was feeling a little sore from teaching two classes back to back at the Y. I fully intended on running on Monday since I didn't have to teach and had the whole day free. I got a call Sunday night from someone needing a sub for the 6am Group Strength class. I figured, why not? I'd still be getting exercise and get paid. So I taught planning on running on the treadmill at the Y this morning. I was in bed before 9am and stopped reading at 9:15 to go to sleep. When my alarm went off at 5:30am I hit snooze and fell back asleep. When it went off again I just couldn't fathom getting up. So, I stayed in bed. I actually slept. Usually when this happens I toss and turn and don't really fall back asleep. I got up on my own, earlier then I had to in order to get ready for work so I did some yoga. Don't know what my deal is. Yesterday I also took a nap! A nap! I never take a nap! I actually feel pretty good right now but I'm looking forward to having another night off where I can put my sweats on an chill. AF was "due" today (based on a 28 cycle). So far I feel nothing normal like crampy or bloating or crabiness. My face did break out a lot over the weekend but healed itself right up. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I have a little bit of hope just because I've been feeling so off. But really I didn't chart at all and we hardly BDed because DH was busy hunting and had poison ivy! And I was really busy with work.
I weigh in tomorrow. Don't know how I'll do. I actually managed to stay off the scale this week. I made some really yummy, healthy, vegetarian dishes this weekend but I haven't been very good at tracking. I'm thinking that this combined with my lack of exercise might not bode well. I am in such a state of limbo! We shall see!

Half way through the weekend!

Whew! Yesterday was a busy but fun Saturday. It's the opening of duck hunting here and Brian, his dad, his brother, and a buggy took off early in the morning to hunt! Best part is they take our dog so I don't have to attend to her. Bad part is they get up so freak'n early that I of course wake up have to pee and then have a hard time falling back asleep! I taught two classes at the YMCA yesterday, group strength and Zumba both back to back. It was a little intense but I think I did well. For some reason I was really nervous. But it all went well. Today I am really sore though. I woke up intending to run 5-6miles but I am being smart and listening to my body. Might go do some yoga in my basement soon. Yesterday I also stopped at our local Co-op and bough some fruits and veggies. I also prepped a delicious soup that I found here That will be simmering all day in the crock pot! Don't you just love the crock pot in the fall? I also ran down to the knit shop to get help on a project that was driving me mad! By the time I was done there I had to go to work/church. That went well, fairly quiet on a cold rainy Sataurday night. Then home to check the blogs, eat with the hubby, and stay up late watching a movie and knitting.
Plans for today include, yoga, a green smoothie, church/work, a yummy vegetarian lunch, a trip to the mall to get a security tag removed (annoying I know!), and while I'm there I might swing by Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte! I also have this huge desire to try pumpkin beer and they sell it out by our mall. My friends Joe and Darick are running the Twin Cities Marathon so I'll be tracking them too! Enjoy the fall weekend!