Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Should be?

So, I should be working but I really need to write this out. I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now and they are not good ones. I'm pretty down today. Lot's going on including the fact that I haven't lost any weight in two weeks ( up 1lb in fact). But really me feeling down doesn't have anything to do with weight. It's my work...again. A lot of it stems from my previous post. My grad school class was great last weekend. Truly inspiring and energizing. At one point the professor, who also happens to be a long times personal friend of my family and has know me since I was a baby said to me, "I'm really glad you are in this program. I get the sense that at your work you don't get to use all your gifts and talents and during these classes you do." I was kind of shocked. First of all I was surprised that he knows what goes on around here (actually I'm not that surprised) but I was even more surprised that what he just said clearly articulated what I've been feeling. This is why I think I feel so frustrated here. I don't believe that I was meant to sit at a desk 90% of the time and interact with others 10% of the times. And really there isn't that much to do here at my desk yet I am expected to be here (hence the massive amount of time I spend reading blogs, twittering, and facebooking). Sometimes the work itself if just plain frustrating. We've tried to be very accommodating with our young people preparing for Confirmation. We've gone from offering one over night retreat, to two options of a full day retreat. The first one is coming up in November. The young people signed up in August/September. We sent out a reminder to the parents about the November retreat. One parent's daughter already has a conflict but if she switches there will only be three girls at the November retreat. We called the school and made arrangements for this young girl to leave our retreat 1 hours early and come to the school function 30minutes late. The mother is still raising holy hell over the whole thing. Not to mention the people I work with are kind of nuts. No one gets a long or works together very well. The woman I share an office with wouldn't let me put Halloween decorations up only "harvest". Plus this job doesn't allow me to do things I want to do like sing. I would love to be part of one of our local adult choirs but I don't always have a night free to attend rehearsal (i.e. sometimes I'm free Tuesday nights but not every Tuesday night). Or community theater. I would love to do this again but how can I when my nights are mostly booked. I'm so frustrated right now. I feel so trapped and I don't know how to get out.

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