Tuesday, August 11, 2009

CD 28 and only one person can make me feel like this! **Updated**

Well, I just realized today that I am on CD28. According to my fertility software I am only 10DPO, I would say more like 11 or 12. So, I guess I should be expecting AF tomorrow or Thursday (software says Friday). Funny thing is I have no symptoms and my temp hasn't dropped yet. So phantom pregnancy symptoms or PMS. Weird. I don't even have bad acne which seems to pop up before AF. My average cycle length is 28 days and my average LP is 12 so we shall see.
So, I have a little work issue I'm dealing with here. First let me explain. I have three bosses. The priest which is like the CEO and then one boss for Youth Ministry (The DRE) and one for Campus Ministry (Campus Minister, I'm considered the associate campus minister). The CM and I have always had a very strained relationship and it is not good. It makes going to work and doing my job quiet awful at times. I've come to accept that he is just a unique individual and I can't change him, I shouldn't take what he says or does personally and I can only change how I react to him. Seeing and email in my box (always with the no subject in the subject line) immediately makes my stomach turns and makes me to think, "What now?". Here is the one I got today:
After the first couple weeks of the semester, when formal student registration ends, i am planning to not be around on Saturdays, taking a day off. Would you please plan to cover the Saturday Mass, welcoming students and making announcements. Thank you.

Does it seem to anyone else that he is just assuming that I will be doing this? Also let me explain that from September to December and then January from May I work an average of 4 nights a week (one of these is always Sunday night Mass) in addition to being in the office 7hours a day 4 days a week. Sometimes I work 5-6 nights a week depending on the week. I am also expected to be here Sunday morning. I ask, would this be in addition to all of this??? As of right now Saturday is the only day of the week my husband and I have off together and sometimes I don't even have that off!

Fortunately for me "the priest" discussed this with me in our meeting last week so I was prepared for it. However when I got this email I immediately began shaking and my mind began racing, I couldn't focus on reading my other emails. Why??? I don't know! (perhaps this irrational reaction is PMS rearing its ugly head?). Still, this is what my life has been like for three years. After I calmed down a bit I spoke with the priest and asked if this is something we should discuss as a group or something I need to approach my other boss about individually. He was like, "whatever." Then I asked if I was trading Sunday Mass for Saturday Mass and he said he wasn't sure but he thought so. Part of me wants to go over and talk to my other boss so I can stop thinking about it. But another part of me is afraid there will be confrontation and I do not like confrontation. I even went so far as walking over near his office but I chickened out. I NEED to get over this! Part of my own personal problem is that I don't communicate how I am feeling to him. He is just such a challenge to deal with!! Honestly I'm not sure why he needs a day off but that is a whole other story.

So that's me right now after having a nice weekend, a great day off and a short week (leaving Thursday night for Detroit) I'm unnecessarily crabby (PMS?) and maybe by the end of the week I'll find out I'm not pregnant again...oh well didn't have much hope this time anyway.

So, I went home for lunch and instead of watching mindless television like a normally do (shhhh don't tell anyone!) I decided to read the daily scripture. The first reading from Deuteronomy had a message for me: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Okay God I get it! So I screwed up my courage and went in to talk to my boss as soon as I got back from lunch. It went well. Of course I made it up to be so much more horrible in my mind then it was. I don't think anything really got solved but at least the cards are on the table.


Jessica said...

AF is expected on wednesday or thursday for me too!! I hope she doesn't come to either one of us!!

Lindsay said...

I'm glad you got it solved! Sorry about another night away from your hubby.

Anonymous said...

Good for you, standing up for yourself! You want to enjoy your work, not feel taken advantage of. Great job!