Sunday, May 31, 2009

Thoughts on IF

I'm sitting in my office (on a Sunday) in between our two services. We're honoring our high school grads at each of the morning Masses and I was suppose to give a presentation about transition from high school to college and your faith life but...NO ONE showed up! There were tons of cute babies and kids at the earlier Mass. I was thinking about how last year when I did the high school grad recognition I thought I would be VERY pregnant or even not be here. I never thought it would take us this long to get pregnant. DH and I were talking about our "method" for trying the next time I ovulate (still waiting to O). This will be our 11th cycle. I'll admit I'm getting a little nervous. DH and I haven't talked about what happens IF we don't get pregnant after the next cycle. Things at his work are not going well. He found out on Friday that he will not be getting a raise this year (no one will) and they are anticipating cutting more hours. Part of be believes that we have not been blessed with a child because maybe our finances can't handle it right now during the recession. My job is fine BUT there is no way I could work part time after having a child considering DH's situation. That being said, can we even afford IF treatments? DH said there is also talk about cutting medical insurance. I don't even know how much they cost but from what I've read they sound expensive! One thought I had during Mass was maybe after cycle number 12 we should stop "trying" so hard. I went into this full force, charting, temping, reading etc. Maybe if we can't afford it we should just let God do His work. Usually when I have a thought like this in church I take it pretty seriously. I'm not giving up hope yet just thinking.

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